Overall, 76% of U.S. adults disagree that “viewing hardcore adult pornography on the Internet is morally acceptable” and 74% disagreethat “viewing hardcore adult pornography on the Internet provides, generally, harmless entertainment,” according to a survey commissioned by Morality in Media and conducted by Harris Interactive.

This compares with 15% who agree that such viewing is “morally acceptable” and 18% who agree that such viewing “provides generally, harmless entertainment.” Combining the results of both questions, about two thirds (67%) disagree both that viewing hardcore pornography on the Internet is morally acceptable and that such viewing provides, generally, harmless entertainment. Only 10%agree with both statements.

The questions and overall breakdown of responses are as follows:

“Please tell me whether you agree, somewhat agree, somewhat disagree or strongly disagree with each of the following statements? Do you agree or disagree. And is that strongly or just somewhat.”

“1. Viewing hardcore adult pornography on the Internet is morally acceptable

6%–Strongly agree 9%–Somewhat agree
13%–Somewhat disagree 63%–Strongly disagree 9%–Don’t know”

“2. Viewing hardcore adult pornography on the Internet is, generally, harmless entertainment

7%–Strongly agree 11%–Somewhat agree
11%–Somewhat disagree 63%–Strongly disagree 8%–Don’t know”

Overall, women are more likely than men to disagree with each statement (morally acceptable – 85% women vs. 66% men; harmless entertainment – 82% women vs. 64% men) and to disagree with both statements (77% of women disagree, compared to 56% of men). For females ages 18 to 34, 73% disagree with both statements; for males ages 18 to 34, 47% disagree with both statements.

Eighty percent (80%) of Republicans, as well as 64% of Independents and 59% of Democrats, disagree with both statements. Sixty-nine percent of whites, as well as 74% of Hispanics and 53% of African Americans, disagree with both statements. Sixty-nine percent of married adults disagree with both statements, as do three-fifths (61%) of single adults. Adults who have children in the home (68%) are more likely to disagree with both statements than those who do not have children (56%).

Morality in Media president Robert Peters had the following comments:

“There is a perception held by many that hardcore adult pornography has become acceptable in American society. But the perception is false. This is not to say that there isn’t a market for hardcore adult pornography. There is. But what primarily fuels the market is sexual addiction, not casual viewing. Furthermore, just because a person experiments with this material or on occasion succumbs to the temptation to view it does not mean he approves of what is viewed or of all pornography, especially when online hardcore adult pornographers often promote their products aggressively and deceptively.

“In Hamling v. United States, the Supreme Court recognized that the mere fact that hardcore adult pornographic materials are available in the nation or in a community does not ‘make them witnesses of virtue’ or prove that similar materials at issue in a criminal obscenity trial are acceptable under community standards and therefore legal to disseminate.

In Miller v. California, the Supreme Court also stated: ‘This much has been categorically settled by the Court, that obscene material is unprotected by the First Amendment.’ The Miller Court went on to define ‘obscene’ in a manner intended to restrict the reach of obscenity laws to ‘hard-core’ pornography. Today, most adult pornography distributed commercially is ‘hardcore.’

“It is unfortunate that so little has been done at the Federal level to curb distribution of hardcore adult pornography. Under President Clinton, the Justice Department turned its back to the proliferation of hardcore adult pornography on the Internet. Under President Bush, the Justice Department said the right things but failed to implement policies to get the job done. It remains to be seen whether the Obama administration will enforce federal obscenity laws.

“It is also unfortunate that there is a growing gap between men and women when it comes to the subject of hardcore adult pornography. But for whatever reasons, males of all ages appear to be more vulnerable to pornography’s siren-like allure and corrupting influences than are females.

“Those harmed by the proliferation of hardcore adult pornography include women (many of whom are still in their teens) who ‘perform’ in this material, individuals of all ages who become addicted to this material, women whose husbands are addicted to this material, women who are raped, sexually assaulted or sexually harassed by males addicted to this material, children sexually abused by men who use this material to arouse themselves and to groom their victims, children sexually assaulted by other children who act out what they have viewed in this material, and females trafficked into prostitution to gratify the sexual desires of men who act out what they have viewed in this material.”

Methodology: This study was conducted by telephone within the United States by Harris Interactive on behalf of Morality in Media between October 21 and October 25, 2009 among 1,005 U.S. adults (aged 18 and older). For full results, please contact Robert Peters.

About Harris Interactive: Harris Interactive is a global leader in custom market research. With a long and rich history in multimodal research, powered by our science and technology, we assist clients in achieving business results. Harris Interactive serves clients globally through our North American, European and Asian offices and a network of independent market research firms. For more information, please visit www.harrisinteractive.com.

Let us all improve our personal behavior and redouble our efforts to protect our loved ones and our environment from the onslaught of pornography.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

The following address was delivered in April 2005, at a conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Last summer Sister Oaks and I returned from two years in the Philippines. We loved our service there, and we loved returning home. When we have been away, we see our surroundings in a new light, with increased appreciation and sometimes with new concerns.

We were concerned to see the inroads pornography had made in the United States while we were away. For many years our Church leaders have warned against the dangers of images and words intended to arouse sexual desires. Now the corrupting influence of pornography, produced and disseminated for commercial gain, is sweeping over our society like an avalanche of evil.

At our last conference, President Gordon B. Hinckley devoted an entire talk to this subject, warning in the plainest terms that “this is a very serious problem even among us” (“A Tragic Evil among Us,“ Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2004, 61). Most of the bishops we meet in stake conferences now report major concerns with this problem.

My fellow holders of the Melchizedek Priesthood, and also our young men, I wish to speak to you today about pornography. I know that many of you are exposed to this and that many of you are being stained by it.

In concentrating my talk on this subject I feel like the prophet Jacob, who told the men of his day that it grieved him to speak so boldly in front of their sensitive wives and children. But notwithstanding the difficulty of the task, he said he had to speak to the men about this subject because God had commanded him (see Jacob 2:7–11). I do so for the same reason.

In the second chapter of the book that bears his name, Jacob condemns men for their “whoredoms” (vv. 23, 28). He told them they had “broken the hearts of [their] tender wives, and lost the confidence of [their] children, because of [their] bad examples before them” (v. 35).

What were these grossly wicked “whoredoms”? No doubt some men were already guilty of evil acts. But the main focus of Jacob’s great sermon was not with evil acts completed, but with evil acts contemplated.

Jacob began his sermon by telling the men that “as yet, [they had] been obedient unto the word of the Lord” (Jacob 2:4). However, he then told them he knew their thoughts, that they were “beginning to labor in sin, which sin appeareth very abominable . . . unto God” (v. 5). “I must testify unto you concerning the wickedness of your hearts” (v. 6), he added. Jacob was speaking as Jesus spoke when He said, “Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matthew 5:28; see also 3 Nephi 12:28; D&C 59:6; 63:16).

More than 30 years ago, I urged BYU students to avoid the “promotional literature of illicit sexual relations” in what they read and viewed. I gave this analogy:

“Pornographic or erotic stories and pictures are worse than filthy or polluted food. The body has defenses to rid itself of unwholesome food. With a few fatal exceptions, bad food will only make you sick but do no permanent harm. In contrast, a person who feasts upon filthy stories or pornographic or erotic pictures and literature records them in this marvelous retrieval system we call a brain. The brain won’t vomit back filth. Once recorded, it will always remain subject to recall, flashing its perverted images across your mind and drawing you away from the wholesome things in life.” ¹

Here, brethren, I must tell you that our bishops and our professional counselors are seeing an increasing number of men involved with pornography, and many of those are active members. Some involved in pornography apparently minimize its seriousness and continue to exercise the priesthood of God because they think no one will know of their involvement. But the user knows, brethren, and so does the Lord.

Some have suggested that pornography should be a separate question in the temple recommend interview. It is already. At least five different questions should elicit a confession and discussion on this subject if the person being interviewed has the spiritual sensitivity and honesty we expect of those who worship in the house of the Lord.

One of the Savior’s most memorable teachings applies to men who are secretly viewing pornography:

“Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.

“Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also” (Matthew 23:25–26; see also Alma 60:23).

The Savior continues His denunciation of those who treat what is visible but neglect to cleanse the inner man:

“Ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanness.

“Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity” (Matthew 23:27–28).

The immediate spiritual consequences of such hypocrisy are devastating. Those who seek out and use pornography forfeit the power of their priesthood. The Lord declares: “When we undertake to cover our sins, . . . behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man” (D&C 121:37).

Patrons of pornography also lose the companionship of the Spirit. Pornography produces fantasies that destroy spirituality. “To be carnally minded is death”—spiritual death (Romans 8:6; see also 2 Nephi 9:39).

The scriptures repeatedly teach that the Spirit of the Lord will not dwell in an unclean tabernacle. When we worthily partake of the sacrament, we are promised that we will “always have his Spirit to be with [us].” To qualify for that promise we covenant that we will “always remember him” (D&C 20:77). Those who seek out and use pornography for sexual stimulation obviously violate that covenant. They also violate a sacred covenant to refrain from unholy and impure practices. They cannot have the Spirit of the Lord to be with them. All such need to heed the Apostle Peter’s plea: “Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee” (Acts 8:22).

Brethren, you have noticed that I am not discussing the effects of pornography on mental health or criminal behavior. I am discussing its effects on spirituality—on our ability to have the companionship of the Spirit of the Lord and our capacity to exercise the power of the priesthood.

Pornography also inflicts mortal wounds on our most precious personal relationships. In his talk to men of the priesthood last October, President Hinckley quoted the letter of a woman who asked him to warn Church members that pornography “has the effect of damaging hearts and souls to their very depths, strangling the life out of relationships” (Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2004, 60).

At a recent stake conference a woman handed me a similar letter. Her husband had also served in important Church callings for many years while addicted to pornography. She told of great difficulty in getting priesthood leaders to take this problem of pornography seriously: “I got all kinds of responses—like I was overreacting or it was my fault. The bishop we have now has been great. And now after 15 years my husband is trying to deal with his addiction, but now it is 15 years harder to quit for him and the loss has been incalculable.”

Pornography impairs one’s ability to enjoy a normal emotional, romantic, and spiritual relationship with a person of the opposite sex. It erodes the moral barriers that stand against inappropriate, abnormal, or illegal behavior. As conscience is desensitized, patrons of pornography are led to act out what they have witnessed, regardless of its effects on their life and the lives of others.

Pornography is also addictive. It impairs decision-making capacities and it “hooks” its users, drawing them back obsessively for more and more. A man who had been addicted to pornography and to hard drugs wrote me this comparison: “In my eyes cocaine doesn’t hold a candle to this. I have done both. . . . Quitting even the hardest drugs was nothing compared to [trying to quit pornography]” (letter of Mar. 20, 2005).

Some seek to justify their indulgence by arguing that they are only viewing “soft,” not “hard,” porn. A wise bishop called this refusing to see evil as evil. He quoted men seeking to justify their viewing choices by comparisons such as “not as bad as” or “only one bad scene.” But the test of what is evil is not its degree but its effect. When persons entertain evil thoughts long enough for the Spirit to withdraw, they lose their spiritual protection and they are subject to the power and direction of the evil one. When they use Internet or other pornography for what this bishop described as “arousal on demand” (letter of Mar. 13, 2005), they are deeply soiled by sin.

King Benjamin’s great sermon describes the terrible consequences. When we withdraw from the Spirit of the Lord, we become an enemy to righteousness, we have a lively sense of our guilt, and we “shrink from the presence of the Lord” (see Mosiah 2:36–38). “Mercy hath no claim on that man,” he concluded; “therefore his final doom is to endure a never-ending torment” (v. 39).

Consider the tragic example of King David. Though a spiritual giant in Israel, he allowed himself to look upon something he should not have viewed (see 2 Samuel 11). Tempted by what he saw, he violated two of the Ten Commandments, beginning with “Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). In this way a prophet-king fell from his exaltation (see D&C 132:39).

But the good news is that no one needs to follow the evil, downward descent to torment. Everyone caught on that terrible escalator has the key to reverse his course. He can escape. Through repentance he can be clean.

Alma the Younger described it:

“Yea, I did remember all my sins and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of hell. . . .

“ . . . The very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror. . . .

“And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world.

“Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death.

“And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.

“And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!” (Alma 36:13–14, 17–20).

My brethren who are caught in this addiction or troubled by this temptation, there is a way.

First, acknowledge the evil. Don’t defend it or try to justify yourself. For at least a quarter century our leaders have pleaded with men, and also with women and children, to avoid this evil. ² Our current Church magazines are full of warnings, information, and helps on this subject—with more than a score of articles published or to be published this year and last year alone. ³

Second, seek the help of the Lord and His servants. Hear and heed President Hinckley’s words:

“Plead with the Lord out of the depths of your soul that He will remove from you the addiction which enslaves you. And may you have the courage to seek the loving guidance of your bishop and, if necessary, the counsel of caring professionals” (Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2004, 62).

Third, do all that you can to avoid pornography. If you ever find yourself in its presence—which can happen to anyone in the world in which we live—follow the example of Joseph of Egypt. When temptation caught him in her grip, he left temptation and “got him out” (Genesis 39:12).

Don’t accommodate any degree of temptation. Prevent sin and avoid having to deal with its inevitable destruction. So, turn it off! Look away! Avoid it at all costs. Direct your thoughts in wholesome paths. Remember your covenants and be faithful in temple attendance. The wise bishop I quoted earlier reported that “an endowed priesthood bearer’s fall into pornography never occurs during periods of regular worship in the temple; it happens when he has become casual in his temple worship” (letter of Mar. 13, 2005).

We must also act to protect those we love. Parents install alarms to warn if their household is threatened by smoke or carbon monoxide. We should also install protections against spiritual threats, protections like filters on Internet connections and locating access so others can see what is being viewed. And we should build the spiritual strength of our families by loving relationships, family prayer, and scripture study.

Finally, do not patronize pornography. Do not use your purchasing power to support moral degradation. And young women, please understand that if you dress immodestly, you are magnifying this problem by becoming pornography to some of the men who see you.

Please heed these warnings. Let us all improve our personal behavior and redouble our efforts to protect our loved ones and our environment from the onslaught of pornography that threatens our spirituality, our marriages, and our children.

I testify that this is what we should do to enjoy the blessings of Him whom we worship. I testify of Jesus Christ, the Light and Life of the World, whose Church this is, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

NOTES

1. Challenges for the Year Ahead (pamphlet, 1974), 4–5; reprinted in “Things They’re Saying,“ New Era, Feb. 1974, 18.
2. See, for example, Gordon B. Hinckley, “A Tragic Evil among Us,“ Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2004, 59–62; David E. Sorensen, “You Can’t Pet a Rattlesnake,“ Liahona, July 2001, 48–50; Ensign, May 2001, 41–43; Thomas S. Monson, “Pornography—the Deadly Carrier,“ Ensign, Nov. 1979, 66–67; David B. Haight, “Personal Morality,“ Ensign, Nov. 1984, 70–73.
3. See, for example, Rory C. Reid, “The Road Back: Abandoning Pornography,“ Liahona, Feb. 2005, 28–33; Ensign, Feb. 2005, 46–51; Arianne B. Cope, “Internet Café,“ New Era, Mar. 2005, 34–37; Nycole S. Larsen, “The Decision,“ Friend, Mar. 2004, 40–41.

A client named “Max” recently sent me this testimonial to share with others. Not everyone has results as quick as his, but when it does happen this fast, it is awesome.

“My name is Max and I am 17.  Before going to Dr. Compton I had a very big problem with pornography for about a year.  After every time I looked at it I would always promise myself that I wouldn’t do it again, but eventually, I would fall back into the same trap.  After only 3 visits with Dr. Compton though, and doing the tapping pornography is no longer in my life!  Now, I live life to the fullest, through Jesus.  If anyone is having an issue with pornography and is somewhat skeptical of Dr. Compton and EFT my advice is do it: do it for yourself, do it for your family, and do it because Christ wants you to live in a life without porn.”

I have written a number of articles addressing factors that drive the craving for pornography, and how to address them. But what is life like for the former addict? What is it like to completely free from this addiction.  I believe it is possible to be completely free and live a normal life without any pull for pornography. Take for example someone who smokes cigarettes. Can they get to a point where they no longer have smoking even cross their mind? Certainly. For some reason pornography addicts seem to have a hard time imagining that becoming their reality.

I was recently working with a former addict who hasn’t had any trigger or desire for pornography in about 2 months now. That is different from two months of abstinence. He has successfully gone without viewing, but more than that, he hasn’t even wanted to. However, he mentioned to me that he would occasionally be in situations that reminded him of the problem he used to have. These situations previously would have triggered a desire for porn, or might have been locations where he previously would have viewed. Now they were just reminders. Kind of like the smell of Christmas trees brings back memories of the Christmas season. But he doesn’t want any reminders of the pornography season of his life. He mentioned a public restroom that reminded him of being in a hotel where he had binged on pornography. He mentioned driving by the airport triggering a memory of a business trip where pornography had been a problem. He mentioned a resort town he went to, and a grocery store where he had some problems in the past..  He wants to be so free of it that he can be in these places without the memory of his former mistakes coming up.

To do this, we went through the memories that each of these places triggered.  Even though these memories were no longer triggering a desire for pornography, they were interrupting his peace in the present. Once we identified the memories, we tapped on them until there was no remaining guilt or intensity of any kind. Then we specifically tapped on the trigger that brought the memory up (the airport, or the public restroom, or the grocery store, or an add for the resort) until he could focus on these trigger locations without any response.

After thoroughly going through this process, his response to these places really did change. Now he can go about his day, be in these places without being reminded of his former life. Now is even more free to move his life in a positive direction without any reminders of where he was to keep him from where he is going.

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to comment on this or any other post.

Richard G. Scott – an Apostle of Jesus Christ – October 4, 2009

The inspiring influence of the Holy Spirit can be overcome or masked by strong emotions such as anger, hate, passion, fear, or pride. When such influences are present, it is like trying to savor the delicate flavor of a grape while eating a jalapeno pepper. Both flavors are present, but one completely overpowers the other. In like manner strong emotions overcome the delicate promptings of the Holy Spirit.  I share a warning. Satan is extremely good at blocking spiritual communication by inducing individuals through temptation to violate the laws on which spiritual communication is founded. Some he is able to convince that they are not able to receive such guidance from the Lord.

Satan has become a master at using the addictive power of pornography to limit individual capacity to be lead by the Spirit. The onslaught of pornography in all if its’ vicsouse, corroding, destructive forms has caused great grief, suffering, heartache, and destroyed marraiges.  It is one of the most damning influences on earth. Whether it be through the printed page, movies, television, obscene leriques, vulgarities on the telephone or a flickering personal computer screen.  Pornography is overpoweringly addictive, and severely damaging. This potent tool of Lucifer degrades the mind, and heart, and the soul of any who use it. All who are caught in its seductive, tantalizing web and remain so will become addicted to its’ immoral, destructive influence. For many that addiction cannot be overcome without help. The tragic pattern is so familiar. It begins with curiosity, that is fueled by stimulation – justified by the false premise that when done privately it does no harm to anyone else. Lulled by this lie, the experimentation goes deeper and more powerful stimulations, until the trap closes. And a terribly addictive, immoral habit exercises its’ viscious control. Participation in pornography in any of its lurid forms is a manifestation of unbridled selfishness. How can a man, particularly a priesthood bearer, not think of the emotional and spiritual damage caused to women, especially his wife, by such abhorrent activity.  Well did inspired Nephi declare, “And the devil will passify and lull them away unto carnal security. And thus he cheateth their souls and leadeth them away carefully down to hell.” If you are ensnarled in pornography, make a total commitment to overcome it now. Find a quite place, pray urgently for help, and support, be patient and obedient. DON’T GIVE UP!  Parents be aware that the addiction with pornography can begin at a very early age. Take preventative action to avoid that tragedy.

Is there a way out of pornography addiction?  Many people doubt that there is.  Many believe that once an addict always an addict; the addict can refrain from pornography, but the addiction will still be there. Some wonder how one can know if a person is really over the addiction.  There are so many accounts of people who seem to do well for a period of time, maybe even a few years, and then go back to addiction. How can one know if a person is free of this problem?

It is my firm belief that a person can truly be free of pornography addiction. It is possible for a person to free of the pull, free of all desire for pornography. Christ’s message to all mankind is that he can help change, truly change our nature from natural or carnal to a more Christ-like nature. Pornography is a not a problem beyond the healing power of the atonement of Jesus Christ; no problem is. This has been my experience as I have coached pornography addicts through the healing process, they really do get to a point where they simply don’t want it.  How can this happen with most seem to struggle endlessly with the problem?

First of all, it is important that a person recognizes this is hurting their life.  They need to want this out of their life. Then the key is to get at what is driving the desire for pornography.  Here there can be many factors, and I haven’t found any two men exactly alike.  It can be used as an escape from something unpleasant in life, or it can be used as a solution to something unpleasant in life. There are beliefs that drive the craving, there are emotions that drive the craving. The possibilities here could go on and on. Once the factors driving the desire for pornography are identified, God’s help and properly applied EFT can eliminate them from re-triggering a desire for porn. I find with most I work with this process takes two or three months to work through. Once they really have no desire for porn, and they are doing good things with their life, then they are free.  Could a person go back to it some time down the road.  Yes.  Does that mean they were never free of the addiction?  I think a person could be truly free of the addiction, and then down the road in life make a series of decisions that would put them back in trouble.  The addiction was created once, they can create it again.  We all need to be on guard, to be aware of the plague of pornography. Anyone of us could become ensnared if we aren’t careful.  The probability of this is significantly less if a person is able to reach a point where they really don’t want it. Most of the clients I coach through this process move their life forward in a spiritually positive direction away from pornography to greater light and truth. The more we fill our lives with light and truth, the less likely we are to ever put ourselves in a position where pornography is an attractive option.

Pornography Addiction – Is there a way out? Yes!

An interesting aspect is that men keep going back to it, even though they may recognize it is a harmful influence in their life.  Even though it may be ruining their marriage, even though it may be putting their job at risk, even though it may be putting every genuinely good in their life at risk.  Simply telling a person “Don’t do that any more – can’t you see it is ruining your life?” doesn’t take away the urge and the craving for pornography.

We can look at brain chemistry and see that the brain has become chemically dependent on pornography to produce the chemicals needed to feel good.  This is not my area of expertise, although I am very aware this is a very real aspect of the addiction. What I find surprising is how effective EFT is at addressing that which keeps pulling a person back to pornography.  I find that when I ask a person what it is that pornography does for them, they will usually indicate that it is helping them deal with some negative issue in their life.  It could be an escape from stress, rejection, or any number of negative emotions.  It could be the way to find excitement in an otherwise boring life.  It could be a way to find sexual intimacy in the life of man who has no woman in his life. The addict might perceive it helps him feel loved, accepted, and wanted. It might seem to increase his feelings of self worth.  The list could go on and on.  The point is, the perception is that it is filling some basic emotional need.

However, the truth always boils down to the fact it is doing none of those things. In fact, whatever problem it seems that viewing pornography is helping, once the pornography rush has worn off, actually is worse. The man who thinks it is filling his need for sexual intimacy is actually making genuine intimacy less likely. While in the middle of a pornography experience  doubts of one’s self worth might seem to disappear, but once reality settles back in, now the addict doubts his self worth even more. If he thought it helped him feel loved, accepted and wanted, once the rush is gone, the addict feels less of each of these.  All across the board as I have coached those struggling with pornography, it is so ironic to find that whatever their main reason they were going back to it was, just the opposite was happening. But since it seemed like it helped, and since the effect of pornography on brain chemistry is so strong, the addict just keeps going back again and again, becoming ever more dependent on that which is destroying his life.

The amazing thing to me is how quickly this can all change with properly applied EFT.  With EFT, as we focus on the reasons a person is continually going back to EFT, for some reason the brain seems to get it. If you just tell someone these facts, the cravings don’t change.  But if you tap through this with EFT, the cravings do change, very quickly. At this point, I am honestly at a loss as to why EFT is able to change brain chemistry so quickly.  I just see that it does, because real life results show me that it does.  I don’t know how many men I have helped who were on the brink of disaster because they could not stop themselves from returning to pornography.  But within a relatively short period of time being coached with EFT, they have no more desire to back to pornography.  Will power is no longer a problem, because they really don’t want it.  What an amazing tool.  I am so grateful to be able to help people break free from the bondage of pornography addiction.

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to add a comment to this or other posts, or send me an email.

Here are some recent comments from clients who had been struggling with addiction.

“I love EFT. Words fail me when I attempt to describe the freedom, joy, and perspective it has brought into my life.  I am so glad I had the courage to call Arden and address these concerns I’ve had for so long.  How many more years would I have struggled with these same problems, when a few sessions have changed my life so quickly and so profoundly?” J.L. – Utah

Dr. Compton,

Hello!  This is B. W., a former client of yours. It has been about 18 months since you worked with me.  I just wanted to touch bases with you and let you know that I have been doing great without my former “weaknesses”.  I have since been happily married!  Things are great.
Thanks,
B. W. – Vermont

I last wrote about how many will use pornography as a solution to stress other negative things in their life.  Another way of looking at this is that many will use pornography to escape stress, hurt, loneliness, feeling inadequate, other emotions and negative circumstances in their life.

For instance, if a man feels lonely, it is so easy to go to pornography, and there is the illusion of being with girls – good looking girls taking their clothes off. The pleasure center of the brain is so stoked all feelings of loneliness are out the window. But what is the reality?  The truth is this person has isolated himself with a magazine, television, or computer, and he is more alone than ever. He thought he had escaped the loneliness, but once the pornography rush wears off, he will find he is even more alone. Pornography is so damaging to healthy relationships, the user is typically unable to sustain genuinely healthy relationships. What seemed like an escape from loneliness turned out to be just the opposite. But, since it seems to help when one is in the middle of it, the pornography addict goes back to it again and again even though it may be destroying everything good in his life.

With EFT these mirages are quickly let go of as the tapping process brings the unconscious mind into alignment with the truth.  After a few round of tapping while focusing on “pornography helps me escape feeling lonely”, this aspect simply looses its’ pull.

Here is a possible way to tap this out (If you haven’t reviewed the tabs explaining the EFT process, you may need to do so for this to make sense). First assess how strongly this idea connects with you on a scale of 0-10, ten meaning it really lands true for you. Then, while tapping on the side of the hand repeat the set-up phrase 3 times: Even though pornography helps me escape feeling lonely, I still deeply love, accept, and forgive myself.”

eyebrow: escaping loneliness

side of eye: pornography is the escape

under eye: all I have to do is look at porn

under nose: and then I’m not lonely any more

chin: a part of me thinks I”m with these beautiful girls

collar bone: the pleasure center of my brain loves this

under arm: she is taking her clothes off for me

under breast: she wants to have sex with me – how could I feel lonely?

Side of hand: but I ask the pleasure center of my brain to take a reality check

eye brow: look around the room – I am all alone

side of eye: no one is with me – just this lap top

under eye: the girl in the picture doesn’t give a hoot about me

under nose: this is separating me healthy relationships that could really be the solution to feeling lonely

chin: I choose to turn to God when I feel lonely, that can bring genuine comfort

collar bone: pornography only worsens my situation

under arm: I choose to build healthy relationships instead of ruining them with pornography

After you have tapped, assess if pornography still feel like an escape from loneliness.  If it does, reassess the remaining reason why and keep going through this until it no longer lands true in any way. Feel free to modify the phrases as you go through the process in a way that works best for you.

If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to comment.

Something that seems to be universal among pornography addicts is that they all use pornography as a solution to a problem in their life. So, whenever the problem is around, they escape/avoid/replace the problem with pornography. For many it is the solution to stress in their life. For others it is how they deal with loneliness or rejection. For many it is the solution to feeling inadequate and not good enough. The number of things that could cause stress in life are countless; and so the triggers to pornography cravings are countless.

With EFT, once we identify the problem that pornography is being used as the solution to we are able to put it into a set-up phrase and tap it out. Usually with a few rounds of tapping the mirage that pornography was a solution to the problem quickly fades in the light of truth. The truth is that pornography never really helped with the problem in any way, and in fact things got worse because of pornography.

If you have any questions or comments – feel free to comment.