Posted by: Arden Compton | April 18, 2009

Pornography addiction – many times it is learned from dad.

I don’t know how many times I have heard people tell me they were first exposed to pornography when “they found dad’s Playboy” at a young age.  What a tragedy that something so harmful would be introduced by the father that should have been protecting his son.  Its’ like hiding a rattlesnake in the house and hope no one stumbles onto it.  What father would do that?

One young man I helped had a father with a significant pornography problem.  I wasn’t aware of this initially.  He said he first accidently ran into pornography at age 11 on a cable T.V. channel.  On his first visit I had him imagine that he accidently clicked on a pornographic link online, in his minds eye I asked him to stop when he saw the womens’ shoulders were bare, and I asked him how strong the desire was to see the rest of her.  On a scale of 0-10, he said he felt it at an 8.  We did a round of EFT for this, and typically the intensity of the craving  will drop some, but it did not for him.  After asking him a few more questions, I helped him identify the belief, “If I see pornography (or a naked woman) I can’t resist.”  We tapped on that belief, and the “trueness” of the belief went from a 9 out of 10, to a 6, to a 2.  At that point I had him repeat the visualization of the girl with bare shoulders, and asked him if the desire to see the rest of her was different than when we began.  He said he felt less of a desire to see the rest of her, maybe it was 5 out of 10 instead of 8. 

As I visited with him a little more, I found that his father had a significant problem with pornography, which eventually ended his parents marriage.  He had a genuine fear of becoming his dad and doing this to his future family.  So, we did a couple of rounds of EFT on that, and the fear quickly dropped to a 1.  I then had him go back to visualizing the girl with bare shoulders, and the desire to see the rest of her had dropped down to a 1 out of 10, a huge shift.  Much of his compulsion for pornography was actually driven by the fear he would have a problem with it like his dad.  As he feared he focused on it, and his fear was becoming his reality.  With EFT that was easily shifted, and his desire for pornography dropped with it.

I saw him again a few days later and he reported that he felt a significant change in his desire for pornography, he said he knew he wasn’t over it, but he didn’t even feel like he was addicted any more!


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