Posted by: Arden Compton | April 20, 2009

Masturbation Addiction excuses

The content of this post assumes you have some knowledge of EFT.   I encourage you to visit the video tabs and other information at the top of the blog about how EFT works.  That way the blog posts much more helpful for you.

I was following up with someone who had been struggling with masturbation addiction.  He would do well for  few days, with almost no struggle, and then seemingly out of the blue he would have a relapse.  We had already addressed many aspects of the problem, and the fact that he felt almost no pull on his good days was a good sign we were making progress.  We just needed to identify what was contributing to the remaining relapses.  We ended up identifying a number of beliefs that he was using as excuses, even though he wasn’t aware of it initially.  The first was:

* My brother used to do it, and it was OK for him

* If I mess up now, I’ve got a week to still do good

* I already messed up, so I might as well do it again

* It’s OK to masturbate in bed, that is where sex happens

Each of these had an intensity of about a 3 (out of 10).  A couple of rounds of EFT on each of them left them at a zero.  

Another aspect that came up was a belief that, “Eventually I will give in and masturbate.”  As we discussed this belief, we found that below was the perception that,  “I have to wrestle with this addiction.”  If he has to wrestle with it, then eventually he will give in and masturbate.  With EFT he let go of wrestling with the problem, he could simply ignore it, walk away from it.  Once that was cleared with EFT, the feeling that eventually he would give in and masturbate also cleared.  

When an addict is really clear, they don’t have to spend energy resisting the problem.  For instance, I don’t smoke cigarettes, I never have.  So, as I go throughout my day, I spend no energy at all resisting cigarettes, I don’t have to work at it in any way.  I am free to do other things with my time and energy.  As I help addicts, they can get to that state, and usually do quicker than they thought possible.  An important part of being free of an addiction is being able to see oneself completely free of the substance or behavior, having replaced it with wholesome activity.


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