Posted by: Arden Compton | May 5, 2009

Pornography Addiction – alone on a computer

The content of this post assumes you have some knowledge of EFT. I encourage you to visit the video tabs and other information at the top of the blog about how EFT works. That will help the blog posts much more helpful for you.

This morning I visited with a man who I have been seeing for about three weeks. Since his first visit he felt very empowered and has had very minimal desire to see pornography. However, at the beginning of our visit this morning (it had been a week since I last visited with him) he indicated that he had viewed pornography the last two nights. He said he had felt no previous desire, he wasn’t even thinking about it. He was alone in his apartment, looking up information online that he needed, and when he got done with that, he said he just went to pornography without thinking. He had done the same thing the following night. Since he had not been wrestling with a craving, I decided to see if there was a belief that was driving this behavior. I suggested the statement,

“If I’m alone at a computer I look at pornography.”

He said that statement felt true at about a 6. Then I suggested the statement,

“If I’m alone at a computer I’m supposed to look.”

He said that landed true at about a 5. I had him finish the phrase,

“The reason I’m supposed to look if I’m alone on a computer is because….”

He finished the phrase with, “because no one is around.”

So I suggested the phrase,

“I’m supposed to look at pornography if no one is around.”

He said that landed true at about a 7. I asked him why this was so, and the first answer that came to his mind was, “I won’t get caught.”

So we made “I’m supposed to look at pornography if no is around” our set-up statement and began tapping it out. As we tapped through the points I mixed in the phrase “so I won’t get caught”. Positive affirmations included phrases like, “I don’t want to be involved in something where I’m afraid of getting caught. I choose to do things in my life I tell others about without worrying about being caught. I forgive myself for doing something I know is wrong. I already know it is wrong, that is why I do it alone and don’t want to get caught.”

After this round of tapping, he indicated that the statement, “I’m supposed to look if no one is around” dropped in truthfulness from a 7 to a 4. I asked him why it still felt true, and the first thought that came to his mind was, “That’s what I do.” So we made our next set-up phrase,

“I’m supposed to look at pornography if no one is around because that is what I do.” We tapped through the points focusing on that, and then we did a round with positive reframes that included ideas like, “This is what I have done. Every time I have done this is in the past. It has become a habit, but I don’t have to do what I used to do. It has seemed that this is just me, this is the way I am, this is what I do, but it is not God’s intention that I be this way. I choose to be true to my divine nature instead of giving in to animal instincts.”

Now the statement “I’m supposed to look if no one is around” landed true at a 2 (down from 4). I asked him why it still felt true, and the first thought that came to his mind was, “The girls are waiting.” So our next set-up phrase was,

“I’m supposed to look if no one is around because the girls are waiting.” We focused on that as we tapped through the points. Then we said positive affirmations like, “I am just deceiving myself, there are no girls waiting. A part of my brain thinks the girls are real, that they want to have sex with me, they are waiting to have sex with me. This is all a mirage, there are simply no girls waiting for me. I accept that. I ask the pleasure center of my brain, and my reproductive system, to let go of the idea that the girls are waiting. I reprogram the neural pathways associated with this, aligning myself with what is obviously true, there are no girls waiting.”

After that he said the statement “I’m supposed to look at pornography if no one is around” no longer felt true. I asked him how much guilt he felt because of having looked at pornography the last two nights, he said he felt at an intensity of about 8 out of 10. So, I coached him through a Christ centered visualization where he put a shape to the guilt (he visualized a anvil), forgave himself, and gave the burden of the guilt to Christ. He said the guilt dropped to about a 3 or 4. I asked him why he still felt guilt, and he said it was because he masturbated. So, I asked him to put a shape to that guilt, which he said was a large heavy rock. I had him express forgiveness to himself for this, and give the burden of the rock to Christ. Each time he visualized Christ being there in his mind, and was able to see himself giving the anvil and the rock to Christ. He then indicated he no longer felt guilt. See my blog post on “Clearing Guilt and Shame” for more information about the process I used here.

This was a good session, he ended feeling hopeful again, having cleared the beliefs that were driving him to look at pornography the last two nights.

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