Posted by: Arden Compton | May 7, 2009

Porn Addiction – dealing with triggers from past pornographic images

This blog post assumes you have some working knowledge of EFT.  It is best to review the video tabs and other information at the top of the blog, that way the post will be more helpful.

One of the problems with pornography is that past pornographic images stay in the mind, and trigger a person to have a strong craving for pornography, seemingly out of no where.  With EFT we have a tool that diffuses the intensity of those memories.  It seems to put them in their proper place, the brain recognizes these girls are not real options, and the memories of past pornographic images simply have no more pull.  Below is a good illustration of this.

If you are following this blog, two days ago I visited with a man who had viewed pornography the previous two nights, he was programmed with the belief he was supposed to look when no one else is around.  Only two days has gone by since that visit.  I was happy to hear that not only did he not look at porn, he had felt no desire to do so.  He didn’t wrestle with his problem the past two days, he simply knew he shouldn’t look, so he didn’t, even though there were opportunities when he was home alone.

Even though there was no desire for pornography present at the beginning of our visit, which by the way was done over the phone.  Most of my clients work with me over the phone.  Anyway, I wanted to test him.  So I asked him if he could think of any pornographic image that would be arousing or trigger him in any way.  He paused for about 10 seconds, then said, “A topless woman covering her breasts with her hands.”  I asked him on a scale of 0-10 how strong the trigger was, and he said the desire to look was about a 3.  So, we applied EFT to, “This desire to look at a women covering her hands with her breasts.”  After we went through a round of EFT, he focused on that image again, but said he hadn’t felt much change, maybe it was a 2. I asked him to finish the phrase, “The reason I want to look at the picture of the woman covering her breasts with her hands is because….”  The first words that came to his mind were, “Who cares if I look?”  A rationalizing/justifying statement.  So we put this into our set-up phrase, “Even though I want to look at her and who care if I do look, I still love and accept myself.”  We went through the points emphasizing that no one would care and he wasn’t going to hurt anyone, the woman already posed for the picture, what’s the big deal in looking.  Then, while tapping on the points, we came back around with statements to the effect, “God cares if I look, my girlfriend cares if I look.  If  I look it will poison me and be a step towards looking at more pornography.  If I look I will have guilt and shame.  I care if I look, I choose to turn away.  I choose to be honest, to live honestly, to act in a way where I have nothing to hide from my girlfriend.  I delete the justification “who cares if I look.”  Lots of people care if I look.”  After that I had him picture the girl again, and he said he felt no desire to look, he saw himself quickly closing the magazine.

I asked him if he could think of any other image that would trigger something.  He said rather than an image, a name came to mind, and then a face.  The name Carmen Electra had some intensity to it, and although he didn’t see her in a porn0graphic pose, just her name and face had a pull on it at about a 2/10.  So we did a round of tapping on her name, while he focused on her face.  With one round of tapping that dropped to a 0.

I asked him if he could think of another image that would have a trigger.  He said he couldn’t think of one, so just to really test him, I suggested he picture a girl in a wet, see through, clingy tee-shirt wearing a bikini bottom.  He said that triggered the desire to look at about a 3.  I asked him why he wanted to look, the first thoughts that came to his mind were, “Because I’m alone.”  We put that into the set-up phrase, “Even though I want to look at this girl in a see-through wet tee-shirt because I am alone, I still love and accept myself.”  We tapped through that, then came back around with positive affirmations of, “I give the burden of this desire to Christ.  I don’t have any right to look at this girl.  Even though she is beautiful, she is not an object, she is a girl that deserves my respect, even if she doesn’t respect herself.  Any wimp can give into animal instinct and look.  I choose to have character and integrity, I choose to control my passions instead of my passions controlling me, I choose to look away at the first opportunity.  She isn’t worth it, not even close.”  As he revisited this image in his mind, he said he felt no desire to look at her.

I asked him if any other image came to mind, he still could not think of one.  I suggested an image of a girl lifting her tee-shirt off, with the shirt about half way off, just about to expose her breasts.  He said the desire to look was around a 2.  I asked him why he wanted to look at her, his first response was, “Because she has a nice body.”  So, we put that in the set-up phrase, “Even though I want to look at this girl taking her shirt off because she has a nice body, I still love and accept myself.”  We focused on that while tapping through the points, including phrases like, “A part of me thinks she will take her shirt off all the way.  A part of me wants to keep looking until she finishes taking the shirt off.  I really want to see what her breasts look like after she takes the shirt off.”  We then did a round focusing on truths like, “there is no girl there, it is a photo, she isn’t going to take her shirt off.  Even if there was a girl there, I should not be looking at this.  The only woman I should look at is my wife, the only woman whose body I have the right to look at is my wife, and I’m not married, so I have no business looking at this girl.  She is somebody’s daughter, somebody’s sister, I choose to respect her as a daughter of God and look away.  If I look it will only poison me.”  After this tapping, he said the desire went down to zero.  He said after we tapped on these things he had a hard time focusing on the images, seeing the images.  This is very common with EFT.  The images are put into their proper place, and in the truth of the present, they are not here, so it is hard to picture them or focus on them.

I suggested an image of a girl in a revealing bikini climbing out of a swimming pool in a way that displayed her breasts.  He said that triggered him at about a 3.  We tapped through this one, and on the positive reframes I created statements that focused on making right choices so he had nothing to hide from his girlfriend.  Hiding this problem from her created a lot of stress, it is a heavy burden.  Fear of her finding out was huge.  We did a round of tapping on “fear of my girlfriend finding out,” with the positive round focusing on living so that he could honestly say, “I no longer have a pornography problem, I used to, but that isn’t a part of my life anymore.”

I suggested another picture of a topless girl looking over her shoulder at him, but he said this had no pull on it at all.  Then he thought of a trigger – it was an empty google search bar on his computer.  As he focused on that, the desire for pornography came up to a 4.  So, we tapped on, “the trigger of an empty googel space bar,”  focusing on all the times that was the first step towards pornography, and there are countless girls waiting behind and empty space bar.  Then we countered with positive statements like, “an empty google space bar means nothing.  I break all ties between pornography and an empty google space bar.  Just because it is empty is no reason to go to pornography.  Even though in the past an empty google space bar provided an opportunity for pornography, that is past and over.”  I had him get his laptop and look at the space bar, he said the desire was down to a 1.  The remaining desire was because he wanted to see if he could beat the filter he had on his computer.  We tapped that out, and as we tapped I made an analogy between trying to beat the filter and trying to get a flat tire – what a stupid waste of time!  After that he had no more desire when he looked at an empty space bar.

This case history illustrates how effectively EFT can be used to help diffuse the intensity of past pornographic images.  This is an essential step towards being completely free of all desire for pornography.

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