Posted by: Arden Compton | May 18, 2009

Masturbation – shampoo trigger

This post assumes you have some knowledge of EFT.  I encourage you to review the video and other tabs at the top of the page so the post will be more helpful.  

Caution: this post contains material that could be considered graphic or offensive.  The intent is to show that at times to really clear the problem we need to specifically mention some things we are not comfortable talking about – there is no desire by the author to be overly graphic or offensive.

This client went 3 days with no triggers or to masturbate. The morning of the 4th day he was washing his hair in the shower, and he found that he had put too much shampoo in his hair, leaving his with a lot of extra suds.  He said he hardly thought about it, the next thing he knew he was masturbating, and once he started there was no stopping.  We spoke the following day on the phone.  We had addressed many triggers associated with the shower before, so I was wondering what we had not taken into account.  I had him imagine the event in his minds eye again, and asked him he felt any trigger.  He said he felt a low trigger, maybe a 2.  So, I asked to visualize it again, and this time focus on the extra shampoo in his hands, and how that felt on his penis.  As he focused on this, it triggered him at about a 7 out of 10.  I asked him what the trigger in this was, and he said, “It was the slipperyness on his penis.”  So we used EFT to address by tapping, “Even though this slippery feeling on my penis triggers a desire to masturbate, I still love and accept myself.”  We repeated that set-up phrase 3 times, and then went through the tapping points with the reminder phrase, “slipper feeling on my penis.”   After this I had him go back in his minds eye and vividly recreate this.  He indicated the pull was at about a 2.  I asked him why there was still a pull, and he said, “I just like the way it feels.”  So we put that into the set-up phrase, “Even though I like the way it feels when I touch my penis with all this shampoo on my hands, I still love and accept myself.”  We  repeated that set-up phrase 3-times, and then went through the other tapping points focusing on , “I like the way it feels.”  Positive reframes included ideas like, “even though it feels good, this is a perversion of the way God intended sex to be.  Of course it feels good, but that doesn’t mean it is the right thing to do.  It may feel good in the moment, but it isn’t worth it.”  I then had him go back and visualize the shower scenario again, imagining as vividly the slipper shampoo on his hands and his penis in his hands.  He said he felt no pull at this point.

I saw this man this morning, and he indicated that since we visited on the phone on Monday he has felt no pull to masturbate, and even noticed after the fact that he hadn’t thought about masturbating when he normally would have.  That is a very good sign. I had him go in the bathroom and get a lot of soap on his hands and do his best to think about masturbating, but he said that triggered nothing.  So,  I had him say the phrase, “I am completely free from my masturbation problem,” and it did not feel quite true.  I had him say the phrase, “I will always home some problem with masturbation,” and he had to admit it felt a little bit true.  I then had him go back and once again visualize the shower scene, and that memory did trigger him at about a 4.  I asked him what the trigger way, and he said it was “when he touched himself soapy hands” that triggered him.  This is an important trigger to get, because in normal hygene a man will wash himself with soapy hands, it is going to happen.  So, we tapped on this again, only this time our set-up phrase was, “Even though I have a program to masturbate when I feel the slipperyness, ” with the reminder phrase on “this program.”  Positive affirmations included, “I delete this program.  The neural pathways to masturbate when I feel the slipperyness on my penis are well worn, but those are not an option.  I choose to create a new program, I choose to stay focused, and just because there is a pleasant sensation to the slipperyness on the penis, I don’t have to masturbate.”  After this when he visualized it again he said the intensity dropped from a 4 to a 1.  I asked him why it still had some pull to masturbate, and he said, “I don’t know how not to masturbate when I feel this.”  So we tapped, “Even though I don’t know how not to masturbate when I feel this slippery feeling on my penis, I still love and accept myself.”  Positive affirmations included, “I choose to remember the times I did not masturbate.  I choose to recognize there are other options, I can do any number of things.  Masturbation is not the only option.”  He now said the desire to masturbate was was down to a zero when he recalled the shower scene.

I then had him say the phrase, “Masturbating in the shower is an option.”  He said on a gut level it felt a little bit true.  Then I had him made the statement, “Having sex alone in the shower is an option.”  On a gut level that landed even more true.  So we took that phrase and made it our set-up phrase, tapped through the points.  Positive included, “I am deceiving myself if I think I can have sex alone in the shower.  It is all a mirage.  That is a perversion of sex.  That is not how God intended sex to be, alone in the shower.  Sex is meant to be a loving expression between a husband and a wife, it is meant to be part of the creation process.  I can’t do any of that alone a shower.  Having sex lone in the shower has never been an option.”  He then reported the statement, “Having sex alone in the shower is an option,” no longer had an intensity of truthfulness to it.  I checked him with another statement, “Masturbating is an option when I want to have sex.”  Once again he had to admit there was some level of truthfulness for him with this statement.  So, we put this into our set-up phrase, tapped through the points, and came back around with reframes such as, “masturbating is no longer an option when I want to have sex.  If I keep this belief system, when I marry my wife will be very disappointed.  Masturbation is not having sex, it is not an alternative to sex, it is selfish and does nothing to help me or anyone around me.  I choose to stay in control of myself and save myself for my wife so I can really enjoy sex with her, as God ordained.”  He then said the statement, “Masturbating is an option hwen I want to have sex,” no longer had any feeling of truthfulness to it.

We identified a number of other beliefs about being in control.  The last several times he has had a relapse, he has described a scenario where he felt no pull, to suddenly doing it and then having done it.  So, I ran some belief statements by him related to control.  We addressed each of these with EFT and corrected them:

Once I get started I can’t stop

Once I get started I’m not in control of me

Once I get started I loose control of me

Once I get started my instincts control me

Once I start I will give in and go all the way

With the above beliefs in place, every time he got started, there was no stopping.  Now that those beliefs have shifted, he will have greater control.  The results over the next week will tell us where he is at.  This client has had a number of triggers.  But it has been fascinating that every time he has a relapse, there has been a different reason, a different trigger.  Once we get them all, there are no more relapses.  That is what I have seen over and over going through this process with EFT.

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