Posted by: Arden Compton | June 4, 2009

Cybersex addiction

I recently began working with a man addicted to cybersex.  He asked me up front if I had helped anyone with this specific addiction, and I frankly told him I had not, but I felt that the same principles that allowed me to help people with pornography and masturbation addiction would probably also apply to this addiction.  This has been a significant challenge for this person, he estimates he has spent about 3,500 hours involved in this type of an activity over the past few years.  It took some time to assess his background; he has used masturbation as a way to escape anxiety and stress since he was going through puberty.  He had a lot of pressure to perform well, and has in fact had significant achievements academically, professionally, and in sports.  However, despite being very successful, he has been feeling worse and worse about himself because of his involvement with cybersex. 

I have had six visits with him over the last two weeks, and he has not had a cybersex event in that time period.  When he has felt a pull to do so, he has used EFT on his own to diminish the pull.  He has masturbated once.  While that is not good, for him it was a very short episode – only 2 or 3 minutes, rather than going on and on for hours involved in cybersex.  

The real key to the issue has been how he has used masturbation to escape anxiety and stress – cybersex has been just a way to make masturbation more exciting.  So, with EFT we have had to address, “I need to masturbate…

to escape anxiety

to survive

to escape fear of failure

to get a good looking girl

to be happy, etc.

Also closely entwined in this has been the perception that a good looking girl is like a trophy, and that he has more value when he is with a good looking girl.  We have done a lot of tapping on these issues, and he is reporting that he is seeing girls differently than he ever remembers seeing them.  He finds himself remembering that they are a daughter to someone, somebody’s sister.  He doesn’t them as objects that will just make him look better.

So, all in all, over the last two weeks, he is on track as most of my clients are.  He is finding the problem easier to conquer than ever before, he is experiencing greater peace of mind, other areas of his life are improving as this improves, and he is very hopeful that he can is actually on his way to a life without a cybersex/masturbation addiction.

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to submit your comments.

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