Posted by: Arden Compton | June 9, 2009

Pornography pull gone amazingly fast!

Today I visited  with a gentleman for his fifth visit, the third week of visiting with me.  The first two weeks we met twice/week, this is the only visit we will have this week.  Before he came to see me he looked at pornography about every other day.  Since he started to come see me, he looked at pornography 3 times between our second and third visit.  At that point we addressed the triggers that we identified from that experience.  The triggers were:

* Seeing some cleavage

* The belief it is OK to watch other people having sex if they are on the computer

* Seeing a girls breasts is like winning a prize – breasts are exciting

We addressed each of these with EFT, and quickly neutralized them.  Since then he hasn’t had a significant pull to view pornography.  In the subsequent visits I have helped him identify beliefs, triggers, and fears associated with pornography.  My hope is to identify and clear them before they show up in real life and lead to a relapse.  Today he indicated it has been relatively easy to abstain from pornography since our  last visit 4 days ago.  Going just over a week without looking at pornography is not a significant amount of time – many people can white-knuckle their addiction and refrain for a week.  But what he reported, which is very common among those I coach, is that it has been easy over the last week.  I find that once we get to this point, the probability of having a relapse is very low.  I will continue to work with this man and make sure we clear all the aspects to this addiction.  Today we identified other beliefs that would have contributed to a relapse at some point down the road if they had not been addressed.  Today we identified:

* It’s OK to look at a women in public who dressing in a revealing manner – by dressing that way she is giving me permission to look at her

* It is OK to look at a women in public if the opportunity presents itself when I did nothing to seek it; OK to down a women’s top if she happens to lean over while I’m standing there.

In addressing these things, he remembered a specific event when he was a boy scout, found a brown bag, and like a good boy scout picked it up to throw it away.  However, in the bag was a Playboy magazine.  He and the other boys saw that’s what it was, he stuck it back in the bag as if to throw it away, but didn’t, and looked at it later when he was at home.  He still felt significant guilt and shame from this.  We addressed that with EFT, bringing in some Christ centered reframes, and with one round of tapping he no felt guilt or shame, and the other statements about looking at women didn’t seem true anymore.  It is amazing how this process works to really help a person become completely free of the pull towards pornography!  

At the end of our visit I had him finish the phrase, “Pornography makes me feel…”  Many times when I first start working with someone they will finish the phrase with something like, ‘happy’, ‘excited’, or ‘like masturbating.’  However, without thinking about his answer, today he finished that phrase with, ‘dark and ashamed.’ That tells me that he is seeing pornography in the light of truth. That is how pornography makes a person feel, it is just that addicts seem to have amnesia and forget this very quickly.  When a person sees pornography in the light of truth, there is no desire to go back to it, there is no wrestle with the cravings, and a the former addict is free to take his life in a new direction without pornography.

 If you aren’t familiar with EFT, please visit the tabs at the top of the blog for more information on the basic process.

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