Posted by: Arden Compton | July 28, 2009

Beliefs about women that encourage pornography

One of the factors that contributes to pornography addiction are the underlying beliefs about women that have been accepted. In todays entertainment women are flaunted as sex objects, which leads men to think that seeing them as objects is normal and appropriate.  What I have found is that many men have beliefs like:

Men are supposed to look at pornography.

The most important role of a women is to have sex.

The most important thing about a women is the size and shape of her breasts.

Men should not pass an opportunity to look at a women’s breasts.

To see a women’s breasts is like winning a prize.

If I see pornography I can’t resist.

If I see a naked women I have to look.

This s not a comprehensive list, many have their own unique twist to beliefs like these. The problem is, with beliefs like these in place, by default men will see women as sex objects and seek out pornographic material. These beliefs limit their ability see a women for who she really is; a real person with hopes and dreams, a person with genuine needs.  Almost with no conscious thought their only focus on how to get more pleasure out of the women’s body. You tell them that beliefs are inappropriate, and they may or may not accept that on a conscious level.  But even if they do accept it on a conscious level, that doesn’t change the inner belief. They are still programmed with the same response. This is one reason why men trying to overcome pornography problems fail so many times. Conscious knowing doesn’t change subconscious beliefs. Our world culture floods men with information promoting the inappropriate beliefs.

However, EFT and God’s help, as we identify these erroneous beliefs, we can quickly tap on them and replace them with the truth about women. If you haven’t yet been introduced to the EFT process, I encourage you to review the video and text tabs at the top of the blog introducing the process.  To use EFT for these beliefs, one would simply put the beliefs into a set-up phrase and go through the process.  Here is an example using the belief “The most important thing about a women is the size and shape of her breasts.” Before beginning the tapping, assess at a gut level how strongly the statement lands true. Put it on a scale of 0-10, 10 meaning it lands totally true.

Tapping on the side of the hand say, “Even though I believe The most important thing about a women is the size and shape of her breasts, I still profoundly love and accept myself”  Repeat that three times while tapping. Then move through the other points with a minder phrases like this,

Eyebrow: “The size of her breasts”

Side of eye: “This belief”

Under the eye: “The shape of her breasts”

Under the nose: “Everything in my culture that has taught me her breasts are the most important thing about her.”

Chin: “This belief”

Under arm: “All the thousands of ways this belief has been reinforced.”

Under nipple: “All the images and advertisements that have shown this to me.”

Now tap through the points focusing on the truth.

Side of hand: “I recognize these beliefs are not based on the truth.”

Eyebrow: “Each women is a daughter of God with infinite worth.”

Side of eye: “The size and shape of her breast is no indication of her true worth as an individual.”

Under eye: “I choose to see that her hopes, dreams, and needs are just as genuine as my own.”

Under nose: “I choose to honor and respect her. She is someone’s daughter, someone’s sister.”

Chin: “I delete the old belief that says the most important thing about a women is the size and shape of her breasts.”

Collar bone: “I accept God’s truth. She is a person who deserves my respect, I choose to see her as a person”

Under arm: “I forgive myself for seeing her as a sex object. I choose to be better than that.”

Below nipple: “I choose to see her as God sees her; with unconditional, genuine  love.”

This is just a possible way to tap through these beliefs.  Reassess the statement “The most important thing about a women is the size and shape of her breasts.”  On your subjective scale of 0-10 does it feel the same or different.  Hopefully it feels different.  Keep going through the process until it lands at a 0.

There may be times that you have to tap on specific events that taught you the limiting belief.  Perhaps you found dad’s playboy under the couch as a kid, and at that time unwittingly accepted the belief, “Dad’s are supposed to look at porn.” If so, put that into a set-up phrase and tap it out. Keep working at it until you get any inappropriate belief down to a zero. The keep working on all the other aspects of the problem until you have them down to a zero as well. See the “Bookstore” tab for my book and DVD set; they can be very helpful tools in helping you work through this. If you have any questions or comments, feel free contact me or comment on the blog.

God bless you – Arden


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