Posted by: Arden Compton | August 3, 2009

Pornography being used to escape loneliness.

I last wrote about how many will use pornography as a solution to stress other negative things in their life.  Another way of looking at this is that many will use pornography to escape stress, hurt, loneliness, feeling inadequate, other emotions and negative circumstances in their life.

For instance, if a man feels lonely, it is so easy to go to pornography, and there is the illusion of being with girls – good looking girls taking their clothes off. The pleasure center of the brain is so stoked all feelings of loneliness are out the window. But what is the reality?  The truth is this person has isolated himself with a magazine, television, or computer, and he is more alone than ever. He thought he had escaped the loneliness, but once the pornography rush wears off, he will find he is even more alone. Pornography is so damaging to healthy relationships, the user is typically unable to sustain genuinely healthy relationships. What seemed like an escape from loneliness turned out to be just the opposite. But, since it seems to help when one is in the middle of it, the pornography addict goes back to it again and again even though it may be destroying everything good in his life.

With EFT these mirages are quickly let go of as the tapping process brings the unconscious mind into alignment with the truth.  After a few round of tapping while focusing on “pornography helps me escape feeling lonely”, this aspect simply looses its’ pull.

Here is a possible way to tap this out (If you haven’t reviewed the tabs explaining the EFT process, you may need to do so for this to make sense). First assess how strongly this idea connects with you on a scale of 0-10, ten meaning it really lands true for you. Then, while tapping on the side of the hand repeat the set-up phrase 3 times: Even though pornography helps me escape feeling lonely, I still deeply love, accept, and forgive myself.”

eyebrow: escaping loneliness

side of eye: pornography is the escape

under eye: all I have to do is look at porn

under nose: and then I’m not lonely any more

chin: a part of me thinks I”m with these beautiful girls

collar bone: the pleasure center of my brain loves this

under arm: she is taking her clothes off for me

under breast: she wants to have sex with me – how could I feel lonely?

Side of hand: but I ask the pleasure center of my brain to take a reality check

eye brow: look around the room – I am all alone

side of eye: no one is with me – just this lap top

under eye: the girl in the picture doesn’t give a hoot about me

under nose: this is separating me healthy relationships that could really be the solution to feeling lonely

chin: I choose to turn to God when I feel lonely, that can bring genuine comfort

collar bone: pornography only worsens my situation

under arm: I choose to build healthy relationships instead of ruining them with pornography

After you have tapped, assess if pornography still feel like an escape from loneliness.  If it does, reassess the remaining reason why and keep going through this until it no longer lands true in any way. Feel free to modify the phrases as you go through the process in a way that works best for you.

If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to comment.

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