Posted by: Arden Compton | September 22, 2014

Men Just Can’t Help It

When it comes to pornography addiction, many men feel they just can’t pass up an opportunity to look.
They rationalize that it’s just what men do, and why should a man stop following his natural instincts?
Of course it is true that men are naturally attracted to women. If men gave into their most primal instinct, they would try to have sex and reproduce with as many women as possible. There are men that do this, and the result is, loss of trust, raped women, broken homes, and shattered lives. While there is a part of our natural instinct that wants us to look at, and have sex with as many women as possible, men are meant to be better than the animals. Men and women are created in the image of God, and God has put boundaries on how we use the creative powers of sex. This is not meant deny us of pleasure, but to help strengthen family units, and have a more rewarding, purposeful, joyful life. Since it is through having sex that we create new life, it is something very sacred, and should be used within the bounds that God has set. Sex can be like fire in the fireplace: a fire in the fireplace can be very good, but if you let the fire out of the fireplace, it could burn the whole house down!

So God wants us to learn to control these passions he has given us, instead of letting our passions control us. If we let our appetites rule our lives, we become very selfish and ultimately very unhappy and dissatisfied. We will never be able to completely satisfy these appetites, we will always be seeking for something more.

First a man needs to accept that he can control these passions. Many men feel there’s simply nothing they can do to control themselves. But there is, we have a choice. Some men have given away their power to choose a response. They let the way a woman dresses choose their response. One of Gods greatest gifts to his children is the ability to make choices. One of Satan’s objectives is to limit our choices, to take away our ability to choose. He offers freedom by enticing us to do things that seem to give us more freedom, but actually limit future choices. A person can choose to smoke a cigarette, claiming that he is free and can do what he wants to do. But once he starts smoking, his ability to not smoke is significantly limited. It is hard for that person to choose freedom not to smoke. There was more freedom before he chose to smoke. So it is with pornography, a person can claim that he has the right and the freedom to look at what he wants to look at, but pretty soon he will find that he doesn’t have as much choice in his response to women. It is hard to find any other response, other than a lustful, sexual reaction. At this point the man is a puppet on a string, and any woman can yank the puppet string causing him to react, rather than choose a reaction.

Once a man has forfeited his ability to choose his response to women, it can be hard to get it back. It will often seem hopeless, and many men feel this is just the way God made them and they can’t change their response. But that is a limiting lie, because with God all things are possible. Using the tools that I coach people with, men and women regain their ability to choose their response. When faced with an opportunity to look at pornography, there are many choices. There is the possibility of feeling compassion and sorrow for that woman, knowing that she has problems in her life. There is the possibility of saying a short prayer for her. There is the possibility of remembering that this is probably someone sister, someone’s daughter, and there are other people hopefully praying for her. There is the possibility of remembering her humanity. There is the possibility of turning away, and finding a better way to use your time and energy to improve your life, and make the world a better place. There are so many other things a person can do when faced with an opportunity to view pornography; once a person has turned away from porn, there are infinite possibilities in how one can use his time in a positive way. But all of those good possibilities will be missed, when a person limits himself to viewing pornography. No good thing happens when a person is doing porn. A person will never know of all the good possibilities that were missed while viewing porn.

So take back your ability to choose! Ask God and angels to help you reclaim your capacity to make a choice in a situation. You don’t have to act like an animal, you don’t have to be controlled by things outside of you. When you let things you can’t control, control you, then you are the puppet on a string. You get to choose your response in any given situation. Many people let things in their environment control them: some people let the weather decide how they will feel, or how someone else is driving choose their mood (Stupid driver, I can’t believe he did that!). Some people can’t be happy if their favorite sports team is losing. There are so many things that we can’t control, that we let control our feelings, our reactions. Take back your ability to choose! This is your life you get to choose your response! Your boss may say that you need to stand in line, but he can’t decide what you’re going to think and feel while you’re standing in line! Choose to love, choose to serve, choose to have faith, choose to believe in God, choose to look outside yourself and make the world a better place!

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